We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Do vagina's smell?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
