chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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