i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize