Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
