Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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