Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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