Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
