Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
