What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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