i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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