you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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