im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
