Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
tell me about the fingering
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