im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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