TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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