...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
