Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
