5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
