Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
dude. I can hear the air.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
