we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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