the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
