Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
