I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
jump out the window naked night went bad
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
