never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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