don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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