Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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