return my video game
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
