Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
