I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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