allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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