Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
