You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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