im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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