I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
there was a trapeze. enough said
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
