for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
