where am i from again
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
