Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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