I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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