I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
