During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize