Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
