you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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