so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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