u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
