It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
