We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
