Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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