worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
