I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
