Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
