Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
