My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
