the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Terrible idea I love it
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
