Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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