You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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