I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
