Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
