Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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