he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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