It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
