I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
