Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I wear drunk well.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
