I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
