And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
