i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
